October is here in my life

 September is gone it was a hard the last two months in my life. My two best friends gone to the safe place for the rest of time of my life. Yes i was year older but with Teefa and Tabitha only me heart for ever. I didnt really enjoy my birthday. Diane and Henry made me smile what they got for my birthday and of course on the phone wishing me happy birthday. Moving on with my life is hard for me but with girls in my heart forever. Each time i come home i always talk to them as i walk in the door as i know they where always there for me. I just know as each day goes by it will get easer for me but as i know they always will be there in my heart for ever.  As with work i will carry on what i do at work and as for Liverpool losing the last two games as they played crap but last nights game why the hell Slot played the wrong team and even Salah on the bench. The first half was crap and second have no better. No wonder we got beat. So Slot two games you got it wrong with selection of players to play.  Dont do it it a third time or we will be knocking at Klopps door to come back and pick us up again like you did before for Liverpool. Yes october is here and this month in 10 days time its my mum and dads anniversary and mums birthday the next day. Mum will be 101. Mum and dad had a great innings in there life and will never be forgot them at all in my life time. My life is moving on slowly and will take each day as its comes and try and enjoy it the best i can.

September so far in my life

 With whats happened to my heart with losing my two best friends Teefa and Tabitha The last 4 weeks have been so hard me my heart. I never want it to happen again in my life. Yesterday when i got up after not a lot of sleep. I had a good think to myself and knew that with the girls in my heart i have to move on and know they will always be my heart with Flicker and Jerry lee. Yes will take time cause after 15 years in my life Teefa and Tabby  they will be here at home in my heart and always be there in my heart. As i look round as i write this they are watching me from the safe place. I knew i had to do the right thing for them but hell it broke my heart to do it. I have to be even stronger now with myself .

Yesterday i done what i do normally on a saturday got our home clean and all the washing done aswell. What i done aswell as i cleaned i removed all there years of toys around the house as i knew they will not be back at home apart from in my heart. Tears run down my eyes as i had removed them all. Last night fought i need some fresh air in me in the morning. So this morning as i had not walk on Hadrians wall for over 2 months. Will go do and walk it for an hour as i knew iam not fit as i was when i last walked it. Got there lunch time and it was busy but just walked on for 40 mins one way and 40 mins back. By hell my heart was pumping to much as i knew i was not fit. But me being me kepted on going and back to my car. It felt good to it and will help me to get on with my life.

So from now on as only me at home. Will  be all work and no play and will do as much work as i can so a lot of xtra hours at work. Each day will go by will make it easier me coming home to a silent house. But i will move on with my life as i have still a long to live. As i get home i will always say iam home girls as i walk in through the back door as i know they will be there in my heart.

September here but not a good start to this month

 Last as i wrote and told you about my heart not good with Teefa going to the safe place. As i said about Tabitha not being well with a tumor aswell and i knew it would happen one day soon that will have to make that decision again. Well the last 48 hrs Tabby has been eating but then she couldnt poo in her tray even she tried and tried and as i felt her belly and could see it was swollen . Yesterday she tried to eat her breakfast but couldnt eat and when i got home her loud cry to tell me she was in pain and discomfort. Last
night i stopped up with her but she was in pain most of the night cried for help from me. This morning called my vet and took Tabby in to see the vet. Vet said to xray her and to see the reason why. When i went in to see the xray Tabby was laying there and looked at me in the eye like her mother Teefa did to me and i knew i had to let her go. I asked the vet if there anything we can do and there was nothing we can do. So i had to say to Tabby you have to going join your mum and i cried as she looked at me saying i know i will. I stopped with her and she past away in my hands and my heart was in bits and i came away from the vets and came home. I did not stop of work as i was back shift and i went in to work and closed myself of at work and concentrated on work. As when i got finished and driving home i knew my home would be empty. Yes its empty silence when i walked in my door. None of the girls to meet me but in my heart i can see then. I will never forget Teefa and Tabitha. They have joined my Flicker and Jerry Lee in the safest place and all in my heart for ever

Hard month August 2025 on me.

 This last month has been really hard on me and my heart. I knew my Teefa was getting older as she was 16. She tried the last scratch on her pole but her legs give in and she looked at me and said its time. Took her the vets and yes the tumor was taken over her insides and it was killing her slowly. I had to make the toughtest decision to let her go in peace to the safe place. It broke me heart as i said yes to that. Teefa went to the safe place. As driving home thinking how i would tell Tabitha that her mum has gone to the safe place. Got home and Tabby looking at me and talking to me as i cried telling her that her mother has slipped away to the safe place. Been hard on both of us. The next day as knew Tabby kept on dribbling now and then and i call the vets and took her thinking a infection she had and as vowels hadnt moved and it was causing her in pain . Vet looked at her said they can making her vowels move and would call me in an hour to let me know she can be picked up. But the phone call was not what i expected they got her vowels to move and then scanned her again and found a tumor top of her utress and that what was causing to dribble and not move her vowels. I said can it be removed but said they cant remove it. The vet then said i had a choice of two things what i can do first one is just have to watch her and keep checking her and take things day by day. The second option was let Tabby join Teefa in the safe place and i said no straight away. As it was less than 24hrs i had to bye to Teefa . Vet said to leave Tabby with then and i can pick her up at 9am next morning. I was on night shift at my work. Went in got me shopping on the way home and to keep awake got my house work done. But when i walked in my house with my shopping. The dead silence was in my house. I never had that feeling since my Jerry Lee died . Its then it hit me really bad with Teefa away and couldnt wait until 9am to go and pick Tabby up. In the vets when the vet Tabby through Tabby in her loud voice bent my ears and so happy to see each other. Tabby just has a odd drible now and then and she is doing ok.  So now at me and Tabby taking day day and she cries through the night as she looks up on the bed where Teefa always  slepted on. So many memories in this home of ours.                  As the days go by just getting on with my work and me tabby at home. Ian my work colleague was retiring and after our shift last friday we went for a drink with him and we all had a good banter and a few few beers. I had two tickets to go to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo and was seeing them but it fell through and asked my daughter if she like to go with me and she said yes. We never been before and it was a great show .for both of us to see.  It did pick me up after whats has been going in this month so far. Watched my Liverpool last night as they played Newcastle and what a game it was and we won and got another smile on my face.    So August has been different to my heart but always Teefa will be in me heart.

It does runs in threes when something goes wrong.

 This last 10 days i had that with  Stray cat being run over by someone and me having to let my Teetha go to the safe place. This last week my Tabitha who is Teethas daughter was dribbling now and then. I did speak the vet and sounded like she had a infection. Yesterday she was at a lost like me without Teetha being here. Tabby kepted on going to the toilet but nothing came out of her and she was still having an odd dribble.I called the vets yesterday afternoon and took her in to see the vet. Vet said her bladder bowel was big and that she was as you can say constipated. I had to leave her with vet to get it out of her. 24 hrs earlier i had to leave Teetha  as she slipped away to the safe place. Me waited at home and got the call from the vets but was not expecting what i was told. Tabitha had a small tumor top of her bowel system and thats what was causing her to dribble now and then and make her constipated aswell. Vet said had a two choices what to do with Tabitha. Clear her system out and of course injections but couldnt do anything with the tumor or i could let her go to join her mother Teetha in the safe place.      I said no to that straight away as my heart would not take it with losing both of my family within 24hrs.  I said to clear her system out etc and pick her up at 9am in the morning.  With me being on night shift i went in to work and closed myself of thinking what was going on in my private life away from work. It was a long night as i knew Taby was in a strange place and why not at home. As i worked i looked at clock so much couldnt ask for time to go any quicker. I got through the shift and thought get shopping on way home and then get house work done before going to pick up Tabitha from the vets at 9am.                                                                                                                When i got home i walked into my house and it was empty no Tabby or Teetha to meet me at the door my house was empty. The last time i had that feeling was after Jerry lee died and i came into my home and it was empty. Thats a feeling i never want to feel again.                                                                                        So got with my house work i knew i was getting tired out as the last 3 days very little sleep and eating for me with what was going with Teetha and Tabitha. As it got time to go to Annan to the vets to pick Tabby up. I got there and as they went to get and when she seen me she let out as loud voice reaction seeing me and i got my ears bent . She was so happy and angry with me and i was so happy to see her. Paid my bill and headed home. As i write this she is going in and out the back door and talking to me as she does. It will take a long  time for us to get use of Teetha not being here but in our hearts.                                            Rest of this weekend iam not working and will be here at home with Tabitha spending important time with each other after our Teetha gone to the safe place .                                                                                                                         RIP  TEETHA 

                                                                              

Not Good start in August 2025 in my life.

 Last day of last month on the way to work and when i turned to get on the A75 at Gretna. I always look left and right but to the right i could see a animal laying there with its tail up. A lorry  was heading towards Dumfries came along but went round it. As i went over the road to head towards Carlisle i could then see it was a cat and i stopped straight away went over to the badly injured cat and blood all over the road . I lifted the cat to the side of the road but  it passed away. Took the cat to my vets and there was no chip and to now no one has come forward to say it was there cat.                                          As i was at the vets i said about my Teetha  not being to good with not eating right etc. I kepted  on bringing Teetha down to get a drink and air but she got gradually weaker and not eating and just sleeping more. Yesterday i called the vets and got a appointment for today. Last night i was sitting on my couch talking Teetha like i have done for over 15 years and her voice gone but her mouth was taking in silent to me. All the years me and Teetha always had chin wag with each other through the day. But this morning she tried to eat but couldnt hardly stand up she went out in back garden and her backs legs just give way . As i watch her and she struggle to get to her scratch post and tried to scratch it and she did it once and her strength give in on her legs to hold her up. As i went over to her she looked at me in the eye to say its time to go . I said you of to the docs and will get what we can to help you get better and back on your feet.                                                                                                                               We got the vets on time and a wee chin wag with each other. In vets the doc said to me checking Teetha it was a tumor in her stomach what really big and it was stopping her breath etc. As  i look at the Teetha in eye she open and shut her mouth to say like she had enough. Tear in my eyes and as  lend forward to her she give me her last cuddle like she always did. The vet said nothing we can do and dont know how long she would last as the tumor was killing her . There is nothing we could do and i had to make the decision to let go as i couldnt put her through anymore pain for a short time before the tumor killed her.                              So i had to let Teetha go the safe place with out ant pain. After 15 years we said goodbye to each other it broke my heart. When i got home had a heart to heart with Tabitha telling her that her mum and has to a safe place. It will take a long time for me and Tabitha to get use of Teetha not being around our house but always be in our hearts. Teetha has now joined Flicker and Jerry lee in the safe place and always will be in my heart for ever.

Holiday for 2 weeks comes to an end.

 Well its been wet more the last 2 weeks than anything else. Been away but umbrella was used more aswell. Great to see Di and Henry and with them being a year older and the barbecue went well and Henry couldnt come of his trampoline. The day went very well. As for me being away aswell it rained each day i was there and never got a top up on my sun tan at all. Infact couldnt do a lot as with rain and being muggy each day and it was around 21degrees each day and night didnt cool down at all. It was crap. Next holiday for me is go a country that there is sunshine and not here in wet uk.                                                                 This last few days at home getting things done in. Got my back all power washed down looks better. My car looking good aswell but starting get bored with nowt to do . So back to work in the morning.                  Sad news through the week as Liverpool FC  told us all  Diogo Jota being killed in a car crash. Things will be different at Anfield  for a while as our number 20 Diogo will not be there again but will be in all us fans hearts.             

This uk country is ????

 War going on in different countries humans dying for no reason but why uk is worried about oil prices .Human life is more important. All in the news is about oil prices going up etc.Hold on as i write this another boat getting across the English channel. Are the English gov doing anything about it ?? No they not all they are worried about that oil prices going and spend immigrants  money on 5 star hotels to put them up. I live in Scotland and work in England but iam paying for them when the goverment do nowt at all to stop it happening. They just turn a blind eye but us real uk people who have to pay for them. Excuse me but i work for my living and grew up here in the uk. By the way my mum and dad where in the second world war and they made uk proud by standing on our own two feet against Hitler BUT nowadays the uk gov dont listen and us real uk people have no leg to stand on. If i went to there countries would i get a free house and everything else paid for  by them no it wouldnt happen.

My answer is make all immigrants to uk to do the 2 years national service. Three meals per day and do the national service with no pay no phones After 2 years service they will be in the army and uk citizen. But hold on they will not want that as uk gov will not let them do that But we got no army but another boat load of immigrants land in this county again as i write this. UK GOVERMENT BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE AND STOP THE BOATS LOADS COMING HERE AS THEY THINK GET HERE GET EVERYTHING. TWO YEARS NATIONAL SERVICE THREE MEALS A DAY BUT NO MONEY PAID TO THEM.

June 2025

 Been a bit different this month as it is each year but for the better my daughter and grandson are a year older. Hold on so am i aswell. Never thought would get this part of my life as i get a wee bit older and of course my daughter and grandson get a wee older aswell. 

Yes my life changed around this year and couldnt ask for it be any better. The rest of 2025 will just go as good as it gets for me day by day. With iam happy what i do with my li fe and work its going good. With no football on the go for my Liverpool fc. Apart from a few signings and a few leaving but Slot will get the best out of them for next season.

With my work this last few months working 6 days 12 hour shifts has tired me out. So the next week iam taking time to myself and with my daughter and grandson see the year in with them. 

Yes summer is here but hold on its been raining here again like normal. Where did the hot summers go ?

Good weekend

 Weekend wee bit different with being on the night shift last week. Yesterday most of the day in bed with not being home around 6.30am. Did manage around 4 hours sleep but was  woke up up 3 times. But give up then to sleep and washed and polished my car and of course all all my housework done. Got everything done. So i can have a chill out sunday day. Yes i managed it a chill out today. Felt so good went and done a few miles over Hadrians wall  lost a wee bit more fat of myself.

Me talking for real

 As for all my life religion is my hated subject. As its the biggest killer in the world. But no one will do anything against it. Hold on all the wars from before Roman times was religion wars. I never read bible as its a farce for what iam told. But all around the world believe it. By hell wake up you all out there . There is no god out there so why you all saying about a new pope and pay all your money to a fake not real thing . Excuse me thousands are starving out there and so called gangs making money from the ones in thousands from coming over the English channel. Hold there is no god out there but each country should stand up for themselves and stop the wars in themselves and make there people happy so they dont have to leave there country.

Just on news here about the new pope and all the security paid for it hold on innocent people your money is paying for that and you go without for yourselves.
So you all wake up out there in the world there is no god just yourselves to stand on your own two feet and to make life better for yourselves. p.s Dont belive the goverments or priests who run your country as all they do is get money for themselves and do nowt for you.

Time moves on

This last 2 months been a wee bit different for me. One thing is with me my past is my past and it stops there. But one thinks leaving comments on here think they get to me. But she hasnt. You see a long time with her i was accused etc by a certain person but who it was i asked. Hold on until the last few months me getting accused by her and i never did. Hold on i new patients in my arse i will find out who it was . My patients have been strong and hold be god i waited and found out by the last  few messages left on here  and my phone. They are linked back to the one who was meant to accuse me while i was with her. Now as i know it was her doing that to me all along but why i ask?

Today i had a good walk over Hadrians wall.Will walk it a wee bit further next time. My team Liverpool done well in the first half with 2 goals but nearly lost the game in the second half with Arsenal scoring twice aswell. Yes we won the league but we the games left we have to win aswell . 

Music was my first love and will be my last love . Now John miles wrote and sung this song  and it is me as music is my first love and will be my last love.

                                                   Adrian kirk 

Quiet Easter Weekend.

 Four days of for Easter weekend. Been quiet for me just chilled out got few bargins at Silloth market. Great talking to my Diane and Henry over the weekend. Looking at it been on the single market for over 4 months now and i have got myself turned around with myself and stepping forward in my life. It does feel different in myself as i feel more positive in things to do. Its taken a while to sink in me after being with someone so long. Things are looking good for me but missing things like hugs etc. Being patience with myself that will soon change.

My team Liverpool yes they will win the premiership after wining on easter sunday. I had a few whiskeys for them. My fingers are crossed that will get a ticket for the Arsenal game at Anfield  will find out next week when register for the tickets but like gold dust to get one. Got my membership for next season and waiting for date to get a full membership and my own seat. If iam lucky in getting one.So this sunday coming will be watching the game here at home with few drams and will celebrate as we will beat Spurs at Anfield. It will be great and fingers crossed i will get my ticket for the Arsenal game. Got an itch in my feet i know aint got a ticket for spurs game but might just go for a drive down and hear the atmosphere and the celebrations after it . Iam trying to find out if they are putting the big screen on outside the ground for the supporters like with no ticket to watch the game on it.

Did do a bit of home made baking but can tell i havent down it for a long time and drop scones and buns didnt come out as they should have done. So in the bin and tried again today with drop scones and they where nearly perfect just shapes was not right trying to make them in my small frying pan. Griddle required asap. I will back in the grove of home made baking each week and will get better in making them.    

 Patients my arse '

Time has gone on in my life and i admit in past i did not get a long of things right. The way it was but now each day i make my only decisons  to myself.

So you out there who in the past have made me feel like lower than a snakes belly.The time has turned now and the past is the past period. Here is the but you stood on my toes time you where taken care off. That is for real and not on the computer.

Middle of March 2025

 As Febuary went by and in to March things been ok but my reds not doing very well in the cup games.With being in all four cups but now only can win the premiership the last one. I said i dont count my chickens before they hatch and so far Liverpool have lost 3 of them and only the main one left to play for the Premiership . Now i know and they all know we must win the 6 of the games left to win the premiership this year. 

Each game as they know the players must play to to the extreme limit they can to make sure we win each game what we have left to play.

Yesterday i spent the day at Anfield to watch the legends game against Chelsea.All the players of Liverpool where the first team players 20 years ago . The game was good but this time and for the first time Peter Crouch played for us and he scored twice aswell as we did beat Chelsea 2-0 . It was a great day and seeing the players form those years ago doing there bit like us all for charities.

Apart from everything else my life is going taking day by day.Just take it in my stride what ever happens to me.

January 2025 Gone by

 January is closed for 2025. Been ok through the first month of the year for me. Work and own life going ok. Liverpool doing ok as well.  The 31st of January would have been my dads 100th Birthday. Like i done for a lot of past years and each year now with dad.We had a wee dram with each other like we done over the years.  My daughter Diane and Henry got there own place and moving on forward with there life.     As for me February i will just take it day by day and enjoy it the best i can.

2025 first walk on Hadrians wall.

 Today done my first walk on Hadrians wall in 2025 yes i done a bit of it last week. But i know iam not fit enough like how i use to powerwalk it. So just will take time time to build myself back up. Today i walked from Steel rig for 60 mins then turned around and walked back to Steel rig.  It was hard to do but i kepted on going.When i got to last hill i struggle to get up to get to my car park at Steel rig car park. But i done it not as what i use to do thats cause me not doing each weekend. So will build myself up to more.                  Back in my young days 1988 i was in York working for Tescos and doing there fish counter and also there back door on deliveries.On each day i done both as i felt good what i done both jobs.It was long days but it was worth it. When unloading the load the next load came in and i seen him reverse to loading bay.           The driver came up to me and said Jock you comenot far  from Gretna Green and i said not far from there and he said there has as plane has come down there  and i said what.  As far as he know he has heard on CB plane has come down there. Next thing i done went to the phone in the office and i could not get through to my mum and dad.                                                                                                                                                       It took me nearly 5 hours to get through to my mum and dad and they where ok at Eastriggs  it was at Lockerbie.                                                                                                                                                 I have just watched Lockerbie  with Colin Firth And its done right and no lie.

To all as i know its pointed at the Goverment  cover up. They done it then and before then and now still do it. They knew what was going on but did nothing to stop it happening but Lockerbie happened that was cause of them not stopping it. 

In those days no mobiles or computers to cover up but hold on they still get away with only phones. It took me nearly 5 hours to get through to mum and dad to make sure they where safe.

The then and all goverments think they can do what they like but when shit hits them they run and blame innocent people . 

Who ever reads this watch Lockerbie. As it happened in the past dont let it happen in the future.

Happy New Year To You All.

 With 2024 closed of and its the start for me to step forward in my life. 2024 didnt go to well on personal side of me. On the work side of me it was real good with contract with work and at long last no need to worry about getting work else where after being laid of. The first time in 6 years of work will be no need for security work else where. To see through until back at metal box. With them full time now and things are looking forward for me on my work front.                                                                                             My personal side of life has been changed as i closed the door permanent on it. I knew i should have done that a year ago but i kepted on hoping things would improve but it didnt. So the last month i got to the point of no return and closed it off. Since then been keeping busy with decorating and power walking and feels good. To come home and no arguements on phone or any txs accusing me or saying things to me what are not true. Its been a weight lifted of my shoulders and i can start to get on with my life to what i want to do with my personal life and work.                                                                                                       When i went out  with the crew from work it was great and what i needed yes got drunk a bit. I did nowt wrong but staggered a wee bit getting home.  I have not done that for a very long time. It was well over due.                                                                                                                                                                    Went over to see Diane and Henry for xmas been to long in going seeing them .Diane like me has stepped forward in her life and she making the right decisions for her and  Henry.                                                      My reds Liverpool sitting top of the league and we have to win each game. Its going to be hard but i got the feeling we will win the league this season and other cups aswell. Fingers crossed i get more tickets to go and see them at Anfield. I got ticket for the legends game against chelsea march this year. As for league tickets will apply each time and fingers crossed i will get a few before end of the season.                                                     With 2025 here just will have better year for me and will enjoy it the best i can.