September so far in my life

 With whats happened to my heart with losing my two best friends Teefa and Tabitha The last 4 weeks have been so hard me my heart. I never want it to happen again in my life. Yesterday when i got up after not a lot of sleep. I had a good think to myself and knew that with the girls in my heart i have to move on and know they will always be my heart with Flicker and Jerry lee. Yes will take time cause after 15 years in my life Teefa and Tabby  they will be here at home in my heart and always be there in my heart. As i look round as i write this they are watching me from the safe place. I knew i had to do the right thing for them but hell it broke my heart to do it. I have to be even stronger now with myself .

Yesterday i done what i do normally on a saturday got our home clean and all the washing done aswell. What i done aswell as i cleaned i removed all there years of toys around the house as i knew they will not be back at home apart from in my heart. Tears run down my eyes as i had removed them all. Last night fought i need some fresh air in me in the morning. So this morning as i had not walk on Hadrians wall for over 2 months. Will go do and walk it for an hour as i knew iam not fit as i was when i last walked it. Got there lunch time and it was busy but just walked on for 40 mins one way and 40 mins back. By hell my heart was pumping to much as i knew i was not fit. But me being me kepted on going and back to my car. It felt good to it and will help me to get on with my life.

So from now on as only me at home. Will  be all work and no play and will do as much work as i can so a lot of xtra hours at work. Each day will go by will make it easier me coming home to a silent house. But i will move on with my life as i have still a long to live. As i get home i will always say iam home girls as i walk in through the back door as i know they will be there in my heart.

September here but not a good start to this month

 Last as i wrote and told you about my heart not good with Teefa going to the safe place. As i said about Tabitha not being well with a tumor aswell and i knew it would happen one day soon that will have to make that decision again. Well the last 48 hrs Tabby has been eating but then she couldnt poo in her tray even she tried and tried and as i felt her belly and could see it was swollen . Yesterday she tried to eat her breakfast but couldnt eat and when i got home her loud cry to tell me she was in pain and discomfort. Last
night i stopped up with her but she was in pain most of the night cried for help from me. This morning called my vet and took Tabby in to see the vet. Vet said to xray her and to see the reason why. When i went in to see the xray Tabby was laying there and looked at me in the eye like her mother Teefa did to me and i knew i had to let her go. I asked the vet if there anything we can do and there was nothing we can do. So i had to say to Tabby you have to going join your mum and i cried as she looked at me saying i know i will. I stopped with her and she past away in my hands and my heart was in bits and i came away from the vets and came home. I did not stop of work as i was back shift and i went in to work and closed myself of at work and concentrated on work. As when i got finished and driving home i knew my home would be empty. Yes its empty silence when i walked in my door. None of the girls to meet me but in my heart i can see then. I will never forget Teefa and Tabitha. They have joined my Flicker and Jerry Lee in the safest place and all in my heart for ever